Renegade:

     As an experiment for brainstorming and for submission to a publication I decided to join some dating websites.  I started with E-harmonious-with-only-Christians.  After taking the most ridiculously repetitive survey for almost an hour I was informed that regretfully, they could not find a match.  See my past post for pictorial proof.  Ouch and all, but I got back on the dating site horse. 
     My noble steed and I surfed until we landed ourselves at OkCupid.  The survey on this site was much less tedious and easier for me.  Several "prompts" with spaces open to free write allowed me to candidly explain myself.  The first prompt began, "I am ________, _________, __________" and allowed for very few characters.  As I wanted for my profile to accurately convey my personality I spent a few minutes on my final answer and came up with, "I am socially awkward, stinky after I run, and disgustingly witty."  Yes, I do crack myself up.  I may be the only one laughing, but that's normal and why represent myself any other way?
     The rest of my profile went as follows:

My Self-Summary

An avid music fan. A nerd. A mommy! A reader. A joker. A midnight toker. A dog owner. I am terribly impatient and quick to pass judgment. Perhaps a bit of an iconoclast. I've got my nose in a book and my heart in a bind. My laptop is attached to my fingertips. Learn this: 12 oz., double, skinny, half the normal amount of sugar free vanilla, latte...3 a day! I carry a pocket dictionary/thesaurus in my purse. I am obsessed with sending and receiving post. I take a medication for my brain that makes my breasts swell, otherwise they'd just be swollen mosquito bites on my chest. I've done a few foot races including Robie Creek, Zeitgeist, Race for the Cure and Beat Pete. I work out several times a week and watch my calorie intake. I recently had my first article published in an internationally known magazine!

What I’m doing with my life

I am attending university in hopes of receiving my degree in philosophy, to be followed with a Masters of Library Science. I want to make it through each day until I can't. I'd like to learn to play the harp and the harmonica.

I’m really good at

Reading and running. I am skilled in the ways of culinary arts and saying the wrong thing. I have judgmental eyes that scare the shit out of most.

The first things people usually notice about me

I am particularly petite. Lots of gay women seem to think I'm a gay woman, but I'm not.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

BOOKS:
Kurt Vonegut, Ayn Rand, David Sedaris, J. D. Salinger, Chuck Palaniuk, Sigmund Freud, Orson Scott Card, Jeffrey Eugenides, Sylvia Plath, Friedrich Nietzsche, Paulo Coelho, Charles Bukowski, Upton Sinclair, Alexander Solzhenetsyn, Shel Silverstein, Isaac Asimov

MOVIES:
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, American History X Pulp Fiction, Garden State, The Last Kiss, Anchorman, Interview with the Vampire, Grease, No Country for Old Men, Dead Poets Society, The Last King of Scotland, Eastern Promises, Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Rushmore, The Darjeeling Limited, Into the Wild, Girl, Interrupted, Klimt, Snatch, Amorres Perros, Babel, 21 Grams, The Painted Veil, Wristcutters: A Love Story, Smart People, Eagle vs Shark

MUSIC:
LAST.FM

The six things I could never do without

1. Lists
2. Books
3. Music
4. Internet
5. Pabst Blue Ribbon
6. Marijuana

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Thinking. I think about thought. It's thoughtful to think...philosophers never get anywhere.

On a typical Friday night I am

hanging out with a beer in one hand and a book in the other. Then I get drunk and generally want to dance or play tag.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

grbisn ---> WINK ME AGAIN AND PERISH. You are an ignorant Christian who can't take a hint.

You should message me if

you're looking to quench your thirst for awesome.

     And with that I added some photos, answered some lame survey questions and walked away for the evening.  Come morning, I had several messages and winks and hoo-has and whatnot.   The pickins were mild, to be kind.  There was absolutely no one that caught my mind, that I couldn't live without, that my jaw dropped for.  I was not very optimistic at this point, but kept on, keeping on.
     One day I returned home, signed online and found a function that I was not previously privy to.  Said function is referred to as an "Ice Breaker".   This feature uses words from two potention matches' profiles and when they find similarities, a message is sent.  This site found me a fellow who shares an interest in a certain Guy Ritchie film.  Check my past post to see a screen shot of the funny that ensued.
     Another feature this site offers is the "My Best Face" Report.  This process involves adding several photos of yourself to which several other users then choose between.  The computer then tallies the results and gives you a report based on its' findings.  Needless to say, my most normal photo got the best results.  Almost none of my photos were appreciated by conservatives or religious people...go fucking figure.  Here is my MyBestFace report.
     As I go on meet and greets, dates, awkward situations I promise to fill you in!